Journal Entry: March 16th, 2009 It feels like Christmas Eve

I remember Christmas Eve at our house as a child. Well, technically, we never held the celebration at our house, we always went to our great grandparent's house where the whole family would gather. Aunts, uncles, cousins. It was usually the only time of the year that we saw some of our distant family, but it never felt like that long had passed since we last saw each other. How funny it is to me now though, there was one cousin in particular that was there every year, that I never knew was a cousin. As a child, he was always "just there" to me. I thought he was a family friend. haha.

But no matter how long we would stay at gramma's house, or how much good food there was or whatever gifts we recieved from our family that night, my sister and I always looked forward to going home. It was when we got home late that night that our parents would let us pick out *just one* present from under the tree to open before we went to bed.

Now, my mom told me, just this last Christmas, that she always orchestrated the gift to be the pajamas we were to wear that night. But I don't remember it that way at all. I don't remember WHAT we got, I just remember the anticipation and excitement of getting to open a gift of our choosing, with the promise of more to come in the morning. I do remember being disappointed a time or two in not getting whatever it was I thought I deserved or wanted as a gift...but obviously it didn't matter what the gift turned out to be... as now I can't even remember what they were. It was always special to pick out that one gift.

My sister and I would have this *deal* every year. We would sleep together in the same bedroom and made a pact that whoever woke up first in the morning had to wake up the other one right away. We couldn't go out and get a jump start on opening presents. We had to wait for each other. The irony in this NOW, as adult women, we seenm to be doing that with our lives still. But now it's with our children. We each have 3 living children right now. Two girls that are 4 months apart and stairstepped cousins. I've got the boys, she's got the girls. Between us we have two 15 yr olds, a 7, 6, 5 and 4 yr old. Then of course, there was Charlotte, and my sis got pregnant and lost a baby right after her. Now I am about to pop and she found out she is alomost 7 weeks pregnant.

We never have planned it that way, it just happens. It is pretty cool though. I'm sure she would agree, this does feel ike Christmas Eve all over again, just like when we were kids. She's going to be in the room to meet little man with me and I know she's excited. It's like peeking into the package a little early for her too.

But this afternoon wasn't so much fun.

My plan was to take it easy, finish up the laundry, relax and wait for nightfall. But somewhere along the lines, plans changed. *M* got sick at church on Sunday (threw up in Sunday school class) and was pretty lethargic all day Monday. *Z* was also not feeling good so I kept 'em both home with me. I had woken up at about 3am with some pretty heavy contractions, thinking that maybe this was it. After a while, I got out of bed, figuring that if they were the real deal then they would intensify and I'd know sooner rather than later. Well, after doing the dishes, cleaning up the kitchen and folding laundry, the contractions slowed down. By 5 o'clock, both boys woke up and wanted cuddle time. I snuggled 'em and got their breakfast together (well, not *M's* he was still not feeling well) and finished up my chores. By this time it was almost 8am. I was beginning to feel exhausted. I called my mom and asked her if she could either come over and sit with the boys or run to the store for me. We needed more 7Up and crackers. She said she would but it woun't be for a while. >>yawn<<. ok.

Then both boys said they were sleepy and wanted to lay back down. Cool. So they had their blankies and cartoons on low.. the living room was dark and I headed off to my room. An hour or so later, my mom calls back to tell me she's on her way over with the stuff. I sit up and notice my bedroom door is closed. humpf. Just then, both guys came n my room, climbed into my bed and told me that they ate all of the "yummy cherry medicine". I had no idea what they were talking about. I knew we were out of the chewable children's acetominiophen, that's what grandma was also buying... so I assumed they meant they ate some cough drops.

Well, we keep the medicine in the kitchen really high up in a tin box. So this means that they were climbing. And scavenging. Arrgggg...

When I made my way into the kitchen to survey the damage, I noticed they somehow found a box of Childrens Triaminic Soft Chews for runny nose and cough. I didn't even know they were in there! Well apparently, big brother thought these would be good for them and doled them out to his little brother and himself. The problem? I don't know how many were in the box to begin with. It said 18, but there was clearly less than that. When I asked them (meaning interrogated them) as to how many they ate, the older said he had 4 and younger ate 5. Well, I could only find 3 wrappers. So when I asked a second time.. he said he had 2 and brother had 2. Still isn't adding up.

So I kept my eye on them both, figuring they would get sleepy for sure. And like clockwork, they settled down. But while little one was sleeping, he sat upright and spit! I told him to not spit on mommy's couch and he just looked at me funny. Shortly after that he started babbling and not making any sense. He stared off into space. It was creepy. But I honestly couldn't tell if he was still asleep or if he was doped up. So I read the box and see that a regular dose is 2 tablets. But still. I don't know for sure how many he ate.

I couldn't find the number for poision control, and I already have the doctors number memorized, so I just called the advice nurse. I was so irritated by this point because you have to go thru a series of automated responses and verifications before you can actually SPEAK to a nurse. Arrggg... again.

When I finally got a live one, she went thru another series of questions that were prompted by the computer. You can just tell. Well, I was getting really annoyed when she finally told me to hold on. This whole process was taking like 20 minutes. She spoke to a doctor and got back on the phone and told me he said to take both boys into the ER. That's when I lost it and started crying. How the heck was I supposed to carry them into the ER? I'm huge! I called *B* and he said he couldn't get here in time. I had to go by myself. It would take him at least 2 hours to get here. More tears... of frustration mostly, but a little bit of fear mixed in too.

So we made it to the ER. Nurse come out for triage and another takes the box I brought and calls Poision Control. Comes back and says that it would take 10x the amount of medication to have any toxic levels in the boy's blood. They would be fine. Whew! But still, go in the back to see the Doc.

He comes in, does a once over on each of the boys and goes to call Poision Control at the nurse's station. Meanwhile *B* shows up. Doc comes back in and says they will be fine. Discharges us. A receptionist comes in and asks for payment. $100. Just for two freaking phone calls to poision control??? I coulda/shoulda done that myself and saved a penny.. or a thousand!!! I was not a happy mommy today. So much for getting things done.

I capped the night off by heading to Bass Pro Shops to walk around. I'm wanting to encourage this guy to stay head down until tomorrow. But even that has come wth a price. I bought fudge for me and *A* , had a bag of coated pecans, stopped at AM/PM for crunchy ice and Cheetos and grabbed an apple juice too. What a pig. lol.

But tonight I'm feeling that rush of excitment and anticipation all over again as it is the eve of a birthday for my child. I hope that at tomorrow's Dr appt I will find that he is still head down and ready to be induced. And although I am not looking forward to an induction, I am even less happy about the possibility of having a c-section. My life is too chaotic to have to stop and slow down after surgery. Not to mention I'm scared of getting cut open. But there is so much I am responsible for in the day to day running of our household that I think it would make things so much harder on me to have *extra* healing to do. There have been many offers of support and help, but I feel funny having people do SO much for us. Pride? maybe.

So here I sit.. waiting.. just like I used to do for Santa to come. But this time the jolly little man will be much smaller. ::wink:wink::